Friday, February 10, 2006

Justice in Motion...

The front of my house is situated on a very sharp curve and we get at least one bad accident every month or so. Back in December, a guy in work truck took out a pine tree (I mean took it out) and crossed the road and took out a power pole. My neighbor and I ran out and helped the dude out of his truck and I got him to sit down on the porch of the house he would have hit had it not been for the pole. A tractor trailer came down the road and caught the low hanging poerline and sent it swinging towards us hitting the wrecked truck and arcing everywhere. I was in the street stopping traffic from hitting the line when I saw the dude running off behind the houses. I took off after him yelling for him to stop and ended up running sfter him for 3/4's of a mile until a police car trapped him between him and myself.

The story her tho is that they subpoenaed me and I went to his hearing Wednesday. As usual, I was the only other person in a suit and tie besides the attorneys and the judge. It kills me the way people dress when they go to court, defendant or otherwise. The guys case gets called and I am just standing there listening to the charges and his attorney respond. The cop stood up and gave his account and then the judge asked me for my input. I explained we helped him out and I gave chase when he ran. The judge asked if I told him to stop and I said that at one point in the beginning that I yelled at him to stop or I would release my dog. I said he stopped and looked at me and kept going when he saw no dog. The whole gallery and even the judge started laughing. I was on a roll, so I explained that when he fell in a parking lot and I gained some ground on him, I yelled that he could keep running, but would only go to jail tired. This brought the house down.

The judge called for order and began his sentencing of suspended sentence, probation, etc., when he stopped and held up a paper, studying it intently. He said to the defendant that he has been busted for hit and run before. The guy said yeah and the judge changed up to a curve ball and said if it had not been for Mr. Branch, he might have gotten away with this one. He reprimanded him into custody on the spot and sentenced him to 225 days in the county jail.

That was my Wednesday.

Justice in Motion...

The front of my house is situated on a very sharp curve and we get at least one bad accident every month or so. Back in December, a guy in work truck took out a pine tree (I mean took it out) and crossed the road and took out a power pole. My neighbor and I ran out and helped the dude out of his truck and I got him to sit down on the porch of the house he would have hit had it not been for the pole. A tractor trailer came down the road and caught the low hanging poerline and sent it swinging towards us hitting the wrecked truck and arcing everywhere. I was in the street stopping traffic from hitting the line when I saw the dude running off behind the houses. I took off after him yelling for him to stop and ended up running sfter him for 3/4's of a mile until a police car trapped him between him and myself.

The story her tho is that they subpoenaed me and I went to his hearing Wednesday. As usual, I was the only other person in a suit and tie besides the attorneys and the judge. It kills me the way people dress when they go to court, defendant or otherwise. The guys case gets called and I am just standing there listening to the charges and his attorney respond. The cop stood up and gave his account and then the judge asked me for my input. I explained we helped him out and I gave chase when he ran. The judge asked if I told him to stop and I said that at one point in the beginning that I yelled at him to stop or I would release my dog. I said he stopped and looked at me and kept going when he saw no dog. The whole gallery and even the judge started laughing. I was on a roll, so I explained that when he fell in a parking lot and I gained some ground on him, I yelled that he could keep running, but would only go to jail tired. This brought the house down.

The judge called for order and began his sentencing of suspended sentence, probation, etc., when he stopped and held up a paper, studying it intently. He said to the defendant that he has been busted for hit and run before. The guy said yeah and the judge changed up to a curve ball and said if it had not been for Mr. Branch, he might have gotten away with this one. He reprimanded him into custody on the spot and sentenced him to 225 days in the county jail.

That was my Wednesday.

Thank You Sir, May I have Another...

I opened my natural gas bill today and was actually happy because it was only $350.00.

Thank You Sir, May I have Another...

I opened my natural gas bill today and was actually happy because it was only $350.00.

Tuesday, February 7, 2006

Blonde Joke...

This has to be the funniest Blonde Joke I have ever read in my life!

Blonde Joke...

This has to be the funniest Blonde Joke I have ever read in my life!